New EMDR Tool for Sex Addiction

EMDR has been widely used in the psychotherapy field for healing trauma.  I have used it for this with people with sex addictions and its been very effective at ending the addiction when the addiction has been driven by childhood trauma, especially childhood sexual...

We Admitted We Were Powerless

The very first step of every 12-Step program begins with these words – an admission of powerlessness. For many people, that very first step makes participation in a 12-Step program very difficult and with good reason: powerlessness is an uncomfortable feeling and not...

Addiction or Excuse?

Whether it’s food, alcohol, or sex, there are a number of people who react strongly to hearing that someone has engaged in self-destructive behaviors because they are an addict by saying, “Don’t use addiction as an excuse for your behavior! Take...

Lust, Love, and the Brain

What is the connection between desire and love? This question has been one that relationship scientists and couples therapists have concerned themselves with for a long time, but the answer has remained elusive. Recently, researcher Jim Pfaus, professor of psychology...

When Is Therapy Done?

Everyone who has been in psychotherapy has had the question arise: When am I done here? This question is a good one, as there is no obvious ending point for psychotherapy – it isn’t like a course of antibiotics, or a broken bone, when the ending of treatment can...

Our Thirst for Wholeness

The majority of people's problems are caused by the fact that they are disconnected with the rest of creation. (C.S. Lewis)  We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. We made a decision to turn out will and our lives over...

Depriving Ourselves of Pleasure

While measuring the sexualization of men and women in popular media over the past 40 years, Erin Hatton, PhD and Mary Nell Trautner, PhD found that there have been some dramatic changes in our culture.   In “Equal Opportunity Objectification?  The Sexualization...

The Power of Accountability

Treatment providers working in the field of addiction know that accountability is an essential piece of the foundation of long-term, ongoing sobriety.  There are even all kinds of slogans in the 12-step programs that speak to it, such as “You are as sick as your...